Two Years Home

2nd trip to Honduras - August 29, 2011- October 7, 2011 -  Maddie and Brett meeting Justin for the first time.  One of the INFHA workers asks Justin if Mom and Dad are happy. He pauses, looks at us, and shakes his head yes.

August 2013 

 Two years ago today we came home from Honduras with our little 5 year old son. Our prayers had been answered, but today I have much more to be thankful for and I can say hallelujah! The first year mark of being home felt great because of so many miracles of emotional healing and now 2 years of being home is really remarkable. Our house isn't the same anymore.  The pain of wanting familiarity is no longer there. We were all out of our comfort zone and were wanting to go back because it was hard. But we have tasted God's grace and mercy and it is sweeter than I could have imagined. 

Justin - This morning before school he asked Brett if he wanted waffles so without hesitation Justin makes himself and Brett breakfast as Brett sits on the barstools watching him.  His heart is pure and sweet. 

Maddie - Ninety-nine percent of the time she was her sweet, sweet self. That girl is crazy amazing. She has taught me so many things in loving her new brother . She is the best big sister always looking out for Justin and Brett even thought she gets annoyed because they are too silly for her taste.  In the beginning she would ask questions, and there were a few tears, but that didn't last too long. Most of the time Maddie was being Maddie - lovely. 

having a little too much fun with Justin washing my car

Maddie bought her brothers Starbucks after Mom saying, heck no. 

And can I get another hallelujah for these two?! What a beautiful transformation of lives changed forever for the better. Brothers - I still look at them and see God's beautiful handiwork of faithfulness and grace. Brett loves Justin. He often says, "Mom, before Justin I had no one to play with, but now I do. Justin is fun." When I heard him say that for the first time I just about sang from the roof-top. I guess Maddie is chopped liver now. They did play beautifully before, but I guess just not all the crazy boy stuff Justin likes to play.

My husband, Bob, the rock of the family for sure, so patient and kind looking always to give grace where I am wanting to teach a lesson. 

   God took me beyond what I knew and could comprehend, but what I have learned again and again in these 2 years is that God is true to his word. He is faithful, kind, merciful, gracious, and loving.  

We seem to be living the normal life these days, filled with school, work, volunteering, kid's games, and the occasional fight. haha. Yep, normal. 

Justin baking in the kitchen with me, which he loves.

                                                       

                                

                                               Can we just take a serious picture? Geesh! Mother's Day 2013

why did we adopt?

Well just like many of you the orphan posters and billboards tug at our heart for various reasons. You want to help, save the poor, they are really cute, but the reality is..it is another child, a HUGE responsibility, yes a responsibility, but a blessing as well. I can honestly say that a year later. (yeah, this is my personal opinion and you caught me on a good day when all the kids are at school)

Bob and I talked about how "neat" it would be to adopt prior to having our own 2 biological kids. I remember sitting in bed with the laptop researching countries, fees, and the children. My heart was drawn to Mexico because of my heritage. Mexico seemed almost impossible to adopt from, much like Honduras we would later find out, so I pushed that thought aside and now fast forward 7 years.

At Valley Ranch Baptist Church, where we currently attend, they were hosting a Missions Sunday and various tables were set up in the lobby with ways that one could volunteer in our community as well as internationally. My husband was going from table to table as he was probably waiting for me to stop talking to someone, and a couple of guys starting talking to him about going to Guatemala on a missions trip. He eventually went with the guys and the rest is history.

After going to Guatemala with these men, who are now his life long buddies and some are accountability group partners, the men had a ingenious idea of inviting the wives along to Guatemala. So in March of 2008 the 12 of us went and had a trip of a lifetime.

Back in 2001 before starting a family, Bob and I had a discussion on whether our final "hurrah trip" or "last bit of fun before kids come along trip" would be to Hawaii or on a missions trip somewhere. Well, we are pretty predictable people so we went to Hawaii. Yeah we're horrible people right? So anyway, Hawaii was great, beautiful and we snorkeled for the first time and a year later in 2002 Madeline Grace Sturm was born followed by Brett Robert Sturm 2 years later. Life gets in the way and we were busy having fun raising our two kids and Bob was enjoying his time working at his dream job (talking & watching sports) and I was a SAHM (thats short for Stay At Home Mom I would later find out). But after that couples trip in 2008 I started thinking about adoption again and asked Bob what he thought.

He said he would think about it and we casually talked about it over the next few months. We continued researching and praying and we both felt at peace with our decision to adopt. We decided that Guatemala would be the country, but soon heard that Guatemala was closed to international adoptions indefinitely. Hmmm...well we still pushed forward and went to an informational meeting at Buckner in Dallas, Texas still not feeling led to any particular country at this point. There they told us that Honduras would be opening up soon, but they couldn't give us an exact time frame. Well, 2 months later the country was approved for Buckner and we proceeded with the piles paper work, lots of reading, questions and a lot of waiting.

Boy or Girl? We were requesting a boy or a girl between the ages of 2-4. We already had a son and a daughter. As I like the say, we had the best of both worlds. So we were totally wanting a surprise. Don't get me wrong, if we had all boys I would have definitely wanted some more pink in this family.

Older Child Adoption - In the adoption world a child over the age of 2 is considered an older child. The chances of them being adopted are slim. The older they get the lesser the chance. Visiting older child orphanages in Guatemala was hard, much harder than the baby home. In the baby home I thought someone will come for him or her. Look, he is so cute. But as we entered the older child orphanages you have a sense that this is the end of the road for them, this is where they will live with a dirt "playground", no toys, cement walls, no pictures or bright paint - boring and dull. Until one day when they become of age, 15 or so, they will open those doors and out into the world they will roam and hopefully make a living and be an asset to their country. So for various reasons Bob and I both felt at peace that an older child would fit perfectly into our family. Three years later on August 29, 2011 our family was forever changed. We would gain a son, Maddie and Brett, a little brother.

Why did we adopt? the bottom line is I don't think God called me to live a life of comfort. Believe me I have plenty of it. When I told God that I was feeling pretty brave. I knew I wasn't being called to live in Africa so I was feeling brave. Now I know. Yes, I am still living in my beautiful home in a safe place, with heat in the winter and A/C in the Summer. I can still leave my house without feeling danger, I can eat whatever I want whenever I want. Sometimes I wished that our family could go back to the way it was. It was so easy. Did I mess us up? Can I do this? What if we didn't adopt? Should we have asked for a little girl? I am not comfortable with our family, yet. For me, that means our family will be a forever work in progress. A work that is hard, but moments that I know were only from God. Healing that I know was only from God. Love that I know was only from Him. Our family is a piece of work that will always need mending and fixing and only to Him can we give the glory. From the outside we look "cute" some would say, but know that we struggle like other families and sometimes we don't do it well. But, we are trying because we know this is the life we were called to.

Secondly, I did not want our family to miss out on the blessings of listening to what we thought our family was to do. Yeah, I selfishly did not want to miss out. Yes, adoption is hard, hard, hard, but when you say yes to God you better get your running shoes on because its a crazy ride filled with mountains and valleys. But God does work in the hopeless and makes all things new. I am forever grateful for this past year and for how He has changed me and my family. We blindly walked into this adoption world with faith that I know only comes from Him the author of my life, my family, my destiny.

We Are Going Home! (Oct 7th)

So our original flight to return home was on October 1st (we only estimated a 5 week stay). So on September 30th we cancelled our flight and rebooked our tickets for Friday, October 14th. We already had our visa appointment at this time so we took our chances that we would have our visa in hand on Thursday, October 13th. We rebooked 4 tickets and bought a one-way ticket, costs totaling $1050.00. So after coming down from our high Thursday night of having the visa in hand we ate dinner and we were about to start packing. It is 6pm and the lights go out.  I fumbled around for our flash light (future families, a good thing to have since power outages are common) and we finished eating. Two hours later the electricity comes back on, kids are in bed and we finally start to pack at 8:30 pm.

     The next morning we arrive at the airport 2 1/2 hours early, pass immigration, and now we are excited to check in. The kids and I wait alongside a wall while my husband chats with the ticket agent. He turns around and gives me a look and I inquire about his long hard stare. Continental Airlines had no record of 4/5 of us flying today, only the 1 way ticket we purchased. My husband shows them the confirmation email they sent to us with the confirmation code. After 5 minutes of my husband and the ticket agent going back and forth he was led behind the ticket counter into an office with a manager for Continental Airlines. Stressed and ready to cry I hold it together for the sake of my kids.  Once again we are caught in this game of waiting, waiting to see if we are going to be met with good news or bad news. After an hour I ask the ticket agent if I can go behind the counter and talk to my husband. He says sure and points me in the direction. Wow, that was easy. I almost laughed. I find him sitting in a chair while a Continental Airlines employee is typing with the clicking sound of her nails as fast as she can. I gave him a look and whisper, "We should have confirmed the flight last night". Um yeah, marriage tip #1 Do not voice the obvious in a highly stressed situation ever! After 16 years you would have thought I had learned that one by now. I immediately look and whisper, "I am so sorry, Its not your fault. I am sorry". I don't think there was a response so I sheepishly left the office and went back to say to my kids and our translator, yes, they have seats on the flight, but I don't know what the hold up is. After 2 hours of waiting we hear, "Last call for Continental flight #3454". Ten minutes after this announcement was made my husband finally emerges with 5 boarding passes.  After 2+ hours we have confirmed seats. Next, we run to pay the taxes (you cannot do this without your boarding pass) and up the escalator through security. We give hurried good-byes to our newly found friend (our translator and driver ) with tears from the 2 oldest in our family (no, not the kids). As we are in the security line my daughter tells me she's about to get sick. My reaction was, No, you can't. And then I gave her a bag just in case. We take off running again through the terminal to our gate to catch the plane. We were the last ones to board. I am so thankful the flight was not full and for Yessica for being so kind and helping us from beginning to end. She was on the tarmac seeing our plane depart and as it pulled away from the gate our newly adopted son and her were blowing kisses. I told him how she had helped us get on the plane to the United States. She knew he was going to a land of freedom and opportunity. I was a crying mess, my husband was a mess. We just looked at each other dumb founded at what just took place over the last 48 hours. The stress was non-stop. And now as the plane pushes back we are free to leave after 40 days, leaving with a new son taken from what is familiar, with a daughter that impressed me with her Spanish, and now my middle child who I hope knows Mom still loves him and even more, and a husband who impressed me every single day. God bless the U.S.A.!

Immigration office in Honduras - 10-15 min

I explained to Justin that 1 more short flight home so he in
turn was showing me a small airplane. I guess he was imitating me. 

Immigration in the states. After this photo I was
told that photos were not allowed. 

They even had horns. They said they had to make up for the size
of the welcoming party. 

Started the day around 7 a.m. and finally driving home at 10:00 pm.
He is in a car seat and seatbelt. Something already new for him.

Birth Certificate and Passport (Sept 22)

After landing back in Tegucigalpa

Passport Office

He also had his picture taken for the passport.

We waited in the small line of empty chairs upfront along the half, white wall.  

Wednesday after we landed in Tegucigalpa, our translator called to tell us that our lawyer would be picking up the birth certificate Thursday morning, the 22nd, and that we would be able to get the passport also. Little did we know what was waiting for us here back "home". Wed around lunch we were in Roatan being told that our connecting flight to Tegucigalpa was cancelled. We had checked out of our hotel, and returned the rental car in hopes of coming back. As Bob was returning the car everyone was eager to help me with our 3 suitcases and 3 kids standing there. One man took me, the kids, and our suitcases to the bus line. I managed to get us to the Taca Airlines counter where a lady in Spanish told me of the cancellation. I had no clue what she was saying so she brought over an English speaker. When Bob arrived in the terminal the same lady, who spoke only Spanish remember, told Bob in ENGLISH that our flight was cancelled and they would put us up for the night and the flight would leave Thursday around 1 pm. She could not give us an exact time and scratched his cell phone number on a 3x3 piece of paper. I was so irritated at this point all I could do was fake smile at this english speaker/Honduran in hopes that she would call us. Well I only envisioned the worst happening so we bought 1 way, direct flight tickets on CM airlines back to Tegucigalpa. They only had 4 seats left and my husband asked if the little one could ride on our lap. His size worked in our favor because after the CM employee looked Justin up and down he declared him small enough for our lap. They only charged us $50.00 for him, made up a price for the rest of us and we were on our way. So glad we chose to make this decision because the birth certificate and passport wouldn't of happened on Thursday.

We met Marta, our lawyer, at the passport office at 10:45 a.m. In the waiting room there were around 50 people waiting in chairs and another line of chairs for the elderly, expectant mothers, and families with small children. Luckily we qualified for the much shorter line. Our total time in the passport office was 45 minutes. After a guard summoned us we followed him back to a cubby in the corner where a lady told our lawyer she wasn't sure how to process Justin's passport because she had never filed adoption papers for a passport before. Our lawyer showed her which papers to enter and then in 10 minutes we were finished. We were told to return in 90 minutes so we went to KFC for lunch. Ninety minutes later passport in hand we were ecstatic! Onto the U.S. Embassy on Friday!!!!!!!!!!

Roatan

We were so fortunate to have the time to visit Roatan while waiting for paperwork. Friday, Sept 9th our entire family flew to Roatan on Toca Airlines. We were getting the run around all week on when we would actually sign our adoption decree. Our plan was just to leave and fly back whenever they were ready. Finally on Thursday, Sept 8th they set a date for Monday, Sept 12th to sign the decree. Luckily for us my younger brother and sister-in-law decided that they wanted to visit us there so a month prior they set a date to meet us in Roatan (much guessing of dates when into this plan but it worked out perfectly). We landed in Roatan the 9th, they came the 10th, we flew to Tegucigalpa, the 11th, signed the adoption decree  on the 12th, flew back to Roatan the 13th, and then flew "home" to Tegucigalpa yesterday, the 21st. Our oldest 2 stayed with Uncle R and Aunt S while the 3 of us flew to Tegucigalpa. It was so nice to see family and experience life with them in such a beautiful place. Especially at a crazy time like this.

It was heavenly and almost felt like a vacation. Infinity Bay had the most beautiful beach I have ever seen. White, sandy beach with clear water. Perfect for snorkeling. Four of us enjoyed it, and the youngest snorkeled, but on the beach. Every day we enjoyed swimming in the ocean or the pool, and explored the island. We went swimming with the dolphins at a marine biology park, and visited an iguana farm. The island is very expensive with prices being comparable to a U.S. resort. The grocery store was a bit more pricier than the U.S. but they did have Coffee-mate vanilla liquid creamer, which was a treat on this trip. I did "cook" with dinner consisting of pancakes, grilled cheese, or peanut butter/jelly sandwiches. Ok and a night of cereal, but no one complained and neither did I :)

For 4 of the days we stayed in a home on Brick Bay. The home was on a hill overlooking the Bay. The water was not conducive to swimming because of the trash that had accumulated there, but it was a nice break to play outside with Leo, the kitten, or look for mini-crabs. One night after the kids climbed in bed we were about to say our prayers when all of a sudden the fans stopped, the AC in the room turned off and the lights went out. We were in total darkness and silence. Immediately it started to thunder, and rain. A lot of crazy thoughts went swirling about my head. Our lives are about to end, we are gonna be robbed, who will even know? We were in the middle of nowhere by ourselves. Bob tried the caretakers phone and couldn't get a signal. It was a scene out of horror movie for sure. After about 5 minutes of freaking out together, silently of course. We just tried to lay they and not think about the sweat that was starting to accumulate on our brow. Forty-five minutes later all was well. We were not going to be robbed, we were not going to sweat to death. We would be alright.

Justin will be swimming in no time. He loved the water. Brett said, "Mom, this is really,  really cool" as he was snorkeling for the first time. Madeline just took it all in and loved everything new and Bob and I said this place could be romantic. Maybe we will go back just the two of us.

playing in the ocean for the first time

                                              

Uncle R styled the boys' hair before walking to dinner.

                                      

A wild monkey was chained up on the property so we felt sorry for him and gave him a mango from the tree.

                        

Maddie caught a crab on the beach

Family Update

Twenty four days into being a family of 5 and it is starting to feel a little bit more "normal". My patience is being exercised more than ever with all three of my kids. The last 3 nights at bedtime our oldest cries telling me that she wants to go back to being a family of 4. Brett and Justin still don't understand each other. I always thought that "play" would bring the boys together, but in our case it doesn't seem to be true. Brett is frustrated with Justin because his first instinct is to be aggressive at play. Brett says he doesn't know how to talk to him. The list goes on. As for me I often have to remind myself of what used to be his circumstances just 3 weeks ago. He has a lot more adjustments for sure, but he has made incredible strides in such a short amount of time. I never thought he would come along so quickly. At first there were minor food issues, grabbing toys, food, etc. out of ones hands, fits of anger, running away, not wanting help with his shower or in the restroom, but now that is 99% gone. It seems like what we deal with more now are "normal" kid behavior with all 3 of them. At first I felt like we were correcting and guiding him more, but now it seems like all 3 of them are on an even playing field. Our day used to consist of waking up at 5:30 a.m. and Bob and I wondering how we were going to pass the day, but now we feel like we don't have to jump from one 10 min activity to another to keep the kids occupied. It almost feels "normal". Our trip home is in the near future (I think) and I really cannot wait to see the good it will bring to all of us.

Random Things To Do in Tegucigalpa

Thank you to Illeana (a Honduran native, Buckner employee) for helping us discover ways to pass our time and have fun as a family. We went bowling- Our older two kids had fun, but Justin thought he could bowl on any lane and really was not into waiting his turn. I think it might be a while before I try this outing alone. Swimming - Illeana's son belongs to The Country Club in Tegucigalpa so he went with us on a Friday to get us in on his "guest pass". They have a kiddie pool, olympic sized pool, and a playground. It was so nice to be able to play outside and swim. I was most excited to see Justin in his new Spiderman swimsuit. We ordered lunch poolside and stayed for 5 hours. It was heavenly. The older two kids swam while Justin monkey climbed the sides of the bigger pool. He seemed to really like it.  Arcade games and rides - on the top floor of the mall, (not one we had been to before and probably won't go to unless its for the games and rides) there was an open-air arcade game center with games, rides, and bumper boats. It was 17.00 for all 3 to have an 2 or 3 hour pass to unlimited games/rides. Maddie wanted to try every game, Brett followed her, and Justin wanted to play the drums over and over and over. He gave the drumsticks a work out. It was funny to see. Of course like everything the kids have experienced on this trip, they want to go back to every place and every restaurant. (and the Chiminike Museum. pictures in earlier post)