8 weeks home

Roatan, Honduras Sept 2011

I can't believe how every day passes and it doesn't seem like much happens, but then you stop to look back at previous months pictures and read old blog posts and I am so thankful. Justin is using Spanglish now. Its funny because Brett is attempting more Spanish and Justin is talking more and more English. They are getting along so much better. I don't expect everything to be perfect because it never will be, but they are playing more and for longer periods of time. Bob and I will poke each other and point at the boys just staring and smiling at the fact that they are playing and having a good time. Today for instance they had 5 small rubber balls letting them fall down the stairs, watching them bounce and trying to catch them for about 20-30 minutes. By the time I had called them to wash their hands for dinner and to set the table they both were sweating from playing. Madeline was oblivious to them playing as she was scrapbooking on the living room floor, she took about 15 minutes to look for the scrapbook she had started over the summer. We finally found it in a bag with her supplies in the back of the deep hole (the under the stairs closet).  She loves Justin. She is super sweet like the Madeline I know. She carries Justin and its fun to watch her be the big sister all over again. But one night about 4 weeks ago she was tired and in bed upset telling me that we did not consult her when we were considering adopting. She exclaimed, "Mom, now I have 2 brothers!"  After talking to my mom about her statement, I think what she was feeling was the pressure of being the older sister, who in her mind has 2 younger brothers to take care of now.  I reminded her to let me be the mother and just to be the fun sister that she knows how. One day about 2 weeks ago, she gasped when she realized Justin had been wearing Brett's hand me downs. She pointed to Justin's shirt and then looked at me with her mouth wide-open. She exclaimed, "Mom, oh wow! Really???" I guess she thought Justin didn't deserve hand-me-downs. I love Justin. I know he will be the perfect fit for our family. I am starting to see that. Sounds funny to say that almost 100 days with him, but the reality is I have been trying to get to know this little guy who is almost 5 1/2 years into his life already. He didn't like to joke around at all from day 1. I remember the first day we met him back in April 2011 and I peered around this tunnel on the playground and said, "Boo" to scare him. He glared at me with a dark, icy stare and turned around to climb out the other end of the tunnel. Now he catches me off guard and right as I am about to correct him he looks at me and says, "No Mom, its mantira" meaning a lie. He uses that line for every time he is just playing with me, like when he tells me he can't find his socks and all the while he has a big silly grin on his face with his hands behind his back. I love to carry him too. I do. And he loves to be carried. It surely does help that he is only 34 lbs. My husband and I are still walking the tightrope of trying to make sure they all 3 feel loved. Its not easy. Adoption is hard, much like parenting your own biological kids. It is much harder than people will ever tell you. Would you choose that road again? Absolutely. We are still learning. But with God's grace and a lot of prayers we are making it.

4 weeks home

The 4th week home feels so much better than the 1st week. We are still adjusting, but we have all moved forward for the better. I know I am Justin's mother, but I didn't have those special bonding moments with him that I have had with my biological kids. To tell you the truth I was afraid of spending the whole day by myself with Justin while my husband was at work and my 2 older kids at school. Sometimes I didn't want to get out of bed because I knew what I had to face, the pressure and stress of trying to make our new family function. I wanted it to feel normal. After being home 9 days we attempted church. It sounds so ridiculous, but I was nervous going back. How would he react to all the strangers, how would my older 2 handle the looks and hello's. My other son even told me, "Mom, you gave 1/2 of your love to Justin." Aahhh....I thought after 60 days into our new family he would know I love him just as much if not more. I am tellling him over and over and over how much I love him and how Justin did not take 1/ 2 of my love. I love them equally with all of my heart.  I guess I was naive on how I thought my children would respond. I knew they would be jealous, I knew they might second guess our new family, I knew they might not immediately love Justin, but I guess I underestimated on how long it would take for them to feel the love for their new brother. But then again, just now I can say "I love you" and feel it in my heart.  For the most part I now get out of bed and I am happy to face my day. Before it was all pretty much routine of what I had to do that day.  Now I can live my day instead of going through the motions.

Justin is understanding quite a bit of English. It is surprising what he understands. He is now starting to answer me back in English sometimes. He will say, "No thank you", "No more", "C'mon" and a few other phrases. He also can recognize some letters and today surprised me when we played a new game called Sequence Letters bought by Abuela Julia. It teaches him to associate a letter with a picture to teach him the sounds of the letters and also letter recognition. He can recognize most numbers 1-10 now so I went to a teacher supply store yesterday and found him some flash cards that help with recognizing and counting 1-20. I also bought a pencil gripper to help him with his fine motor skills, a puzzle, and a book of simple mazes, which he loves to do.

I am grateful to be in the place where I am, but I want to hurry to see the view from the top. So once again I am waiting. Waiting for everything to feel normal. But I am not complaining because we. are. home!!!!!!!!!

Our 2nd Week home

(this is an email reply I had written to our case worker and our driver in Honduras)
The Sturms are coming along as a family of 5 now. We are all adjusting, including mom. Justin is definitely full of energy and talks non-stop. He is amazed by the automatic doors that open and close at Target. He has a big smile and looks at me when we pass through those types of doors. Justin is trying a lot of new foods. So far I am impressed by what he likes. Last night he tried peas and could not swallow 1 of them. My older 2 kids giggled. Brett likes them frozen and Madeline eats them hot. 

A birthday gift he was promised while we were in Honduras so
11 days later he picked out a Lightning McQueen bike. 

Madeline continues to be a great big sister, and Brett and Justin are doing a lot better since returning home. It is hard to know now what is the "adjustment" and what is "normal" between Brett and Justin. Justin understands quite a bit of English, but will answer us back mostly in Spanish. We have to make a conscience effort to have him repeat words back to us in English. I work with him everyday on his letters, numbers, and shapes. He watches Sesame Street to help with that too. He likes that program. Bob is back to his busy, busy self with work, especially since the Rangers are in the World Series. He definitely makes time for all of us when he is home. He is a great Dad, and husband. It was hard for me to be at home by myself with such a busy boy, but each day get a little better.  At church he seems to be overwhelmed with so many adults approaching us (we have been the last 2 Sundays), but I told Justin that if they talk to him he doesn't have to say anything if he doesn't want to, just smile if he wants. After sitting in the service he is pretty tired and just wants to go home. 

Thank you for thinking and praying for us. 

Sally 

Pumpkin Patch 2011 (Oct 15)

This was the best I could do :) 

So its a beautiful Saturday morning and I now have 3 kids at home wanting to play outside. Husband is working the not so normal Saturday morning and I tell the kids we are going to the pumpkin patch. Two cheers from the two oldest ones and the little one says, "No, mi gusta". His answer for everything unknown, whether it be a new food, a new place, new shoes, etc. Thankfully my husband has been near on most occasions and has told him to "try it" in Spanish or my Spanglish would sound something like this, "No, Justin, its bueno", with a thumbs up. So once we were near the entrance I remembered why we don't go on a Saturday to the pumpkin patch, its crowded! But Justin exclaimed, "Oh my goodness, muchas calebasas". That gave me a burst of energy to endure the crowds to hear him so excited. He did say "Oh my gosh!" but my M told him that "Oh my gosh" was not permissable until he was 6. So he proceeded with "Oh my goodness" per M's instructions. It was fun watching him look at all the kids and jump endlessly in the bounce house. With kettle corn, snow cones, and a Capri Sun in their bellies, we moved to try to take some photos. The kids were tired and hot, but I tried.

Our first week at home (Oct 14)

..so hard, but yet so easy. My little shadow has been doing remarkable. Some adoption books say this is the honeymoon stage. The child tries to please the parents by not getting in trouble and saying all the right things. I am not sure how long this is supposed to last, but I am so happy for his progress and how well he has handled meeting our friends, neighbors, trying new foods, adjusting to just him and I alone at home for 6 hours together and everything else that moving to a new country throws at you. He does like sugar that is for sure. He doesn't quite understand that a cookie is not for breakfast, but is allowed a bowl of  Golden Grahams. Yeah, I can see where the confusion comes in. We have played Connect 4, Uno, dominos, and Cariboo (Thank you Emily!). We have visited Chick fil a, and McDonalds (not my proudest "Welcome to the USA moment"), the park everyday, pumpkin patch and church.  I do some schooling with him at the table. We call it "Escuela at the mesa". As long as Justin understands me, we're good. I try to get some house cleaning done in the morning, but everything takes a little longer than normal. He still naps so that is good, I use that time to sit and catch my breath, read emails, or Facebook, I cannot lie.

 Today after church we were in his closet picking out his clothes for the park and I pulled out some socks that he wore when he lived with his foster mother. He puts them on and for about 8 sentences tells me something about his foster mother. I did show him all the shirts, and pants from Honduras so that started the conversation. If only I understood him then. For me, it has taken some time to get used to a little one so dependent on me again, but I know with time we will feel like a "normal" family again. He does have his opinions so my husband says he fits right in.

We Are Going Home! (Oct 7th)

So our original flight to return home was on October 1st (we only estimated a 5 week stay). So on September 30th we cancelled our flight and rebooked our tickets for Friday, October 14th. We already had our visa appointment at this time so we took our chances that we would have our visa in hand on Thursday, October 13th. We rebooked 4 tickets and bought a one-way ticket, costs totaling $1050.00. So after coming down from our high Thursday night of having the visa in hand we ate dinner and we were about to start packing. It is 6pm and the lights go out.  I fumbled around for our flash light (future families, a good thing to have since power outages are common) and we finished eating. Two hours later the electricity comes back on, kids are in bed and we finally start to pack at 8:30 pm.

     The next morning we arrive at the airport 2 1/2 hours early, pass immigration, and now we are excited to check in. The kids and I wait alongside a wall while my husband chats with the ticket agent. He turns around and gives me a look and I inquire about his long hard stare. Continental Airlines had no record of 4/5 of us flying today, only the 1 way ticket we purchased. My husband shows them the confirmation email they sent to us with the confirmation code. After 5 minutes of my husband and the ticket agent going back and forth he was led behind the ticket counter into an office with a manager for Continental Airlines. Stressed and ready to cry I hold it together for the sake of my kids.  Once again we are caught in this game of waiting, waiting to see if we are going to be met with good news or bad news. After an hour I ask the ticket agent if I can go behind the counter and talk to my husband. He says sure and points me in the direction. Wow, that was easy. I almost laughed. I find him sitting in a chair while a Continental Airlines employee is typing with the clicking sound of her nails as fast as she can. I gave him a look and whisper, "We should have confirmed the flight last night". Um yeah, marriage tip #1 Do not voice the obvious in a highly stressed situation ever! After 16 years you would have thought I had learned that one by now. I immediately look and whisper, "I am so sorry, Its not your fault. I am sorry". I don't think there was a response so I sheepishly left the office and went back to say to my kids and our translator, yes, they have seats on the flight, but I don't know what the hold up is. After 2 hours of waiting we hear, "Last call for Continental flight #3454". Ten minutes after this announcement was made my husband finally emerges with 5 boarding passes.  After 2+ hours we have confirmed seats. Next, we run to pay the taxes (you cannot do this without your boarding pass) and up the escalator through security. We give hurried good-byes to our newly found friend (our translator and driver ) with tears from the 2 oldest in our family (no, not the kids). As we are in the security line my daughter tells me she's about to get sick. My reaction was, No, you can't. And then I gave her a bag just in case. We take off running again through the terminal to our gate to catch the plane. We were the last ones to board. I am so thankful the flight was not full and for Yessica for being so kind and helping us from beginning to end. She was on the tarmac seeing our plane depart and as it pulled away from the gate our newly adopted son and her were blowing kisses. I told him how she had helped us get on the plane to the United States. She knew he was going to a land of freedom and opportunity. I was a crying mess, my husband was a mess. We just looked at each other dumb founded at what just took place over the last 48 hours. The stress was non-stop. And now as the plane pushes back we are free to leave after 40 days, leaving with a new son taken from what is familiar, with a daughter that impressed me with her Spanish, and now my middle child who I hope knows Mom still loves him and even more, and a husband who impressed me every single day. God bless the U.S.A.!

Immigration office in Honduras - 10-15 min

I explained to Justin that 1 more short flight home so he in
turn was showing me a small airplane. I guess he was imitating me. 

Immigration in the states. After this photo I was
told that photos were not allowed. 

They even had horns. They said they had to make up for the size
of the welcoming party. 

Started the day around 7 a.m. and finally driving home at 10:00 pm.
He is in a car seat and seatbelt. Something already new for him.

Visa Appointment Day (Oct 6)

Packing to return home (I guess you know how the story ends)

Tomorrow night we will be sleeping on our own beds.

Sleeping in Honduras for the last time

We waited a week for our I-600 approval and then 1 more week for our visa appointment. We all woke up early at 5:45 a.m. to eat breakfast and take a taxi to the embassy for our 7 a.m. appointment time. The embassy is about 15 min drive from our hotel so we wanted to make sure we were early enough to make our appointment. Visa application, passports, money, and kids books in hand we arrived to see 2 long lines outside. It is confusing because no one is speaking English so I tried to find an English speaker while my husband and kids held our place in the residential line. I wanted to make sure we were in the right line. One is for residents and the other line was for visitors. Turns out the security guard was right. He had our name and appointment time on his clipboard and we waited outside approximately 15 minutes. Our line was escorted inside where we went through the metal detectors and then given a number to sit and wait for fingerprinting. They never called our number and it was not displayed on the marquis so we found a friend who asked another security guard why our number was skipped and never called. He told us that our child was under the age limit and that he did not need fingerprinting. The second time to listen for our number was to present our papers for the visa. It was flawless and we had everything we needed and then she asked my husband to go to the cashier's window to pay the $404.00 for the visa. My husband was aware of the "US only dollars or lempiras only' policy. You cannot make a payment of both dollars and lempiras. The US dollars have to be in perfect condition, crisp, clean, no tears dollar bills. The lemps do not have to be perfect. My husband was also aware of the "exact change policy".  I had told him the day before, but he decided it wasn't a big deal. He would hand the cashier 5 $100.00 crisp, clean bills and that would be ok, turns out it wasn't. The cashier would not make change. So my husband told her to keep the $500.00, no change needed. She could not take that either. So the scramble for lemps began. He was 46 lempiras shy ($2.30) so he asked my daughter to give him her lemps. She had wanted to buy a snack from the vending machine all morning, but I told her to wait because we might need her money. Luckily she did. Very proudly she handed over her money to her dad. For a moment we smiled, but then it was back to being nervous with the hopes of having enough. We needed 2 more lempiras (10 cents) to have the exact payment . So my husband walked out the main waiting area to another cashier and he was told that she could not make change. He pleaded, but she would not budge so he said, "Please, all I need is 2 lempiras. The lady then handed him the lempiras and with that we had our exact payment of $404.00.  The visa cashier did not reject any of our lempiras. She didn't care if they were not perfect and we didn't either. For the 3rd time we waited for our number to be called for the interview. We were told right away that we were approved for our visa (whew!) and that they were specifically looking for the updated immunization records from the doctor appointment. She asked Justin all of our names and when he looked at me, he just stared and smiled then it was onto his new sister and brother. We all nervously giggled, but we passed. She apologized for such a long wait for our appointment day, but said the line we heard several times this whole trip, "Adoptions are a high priority" and we are sorry. We just had a lot of visas to process". She almost guaranteed to have the visa ready by 3:45, but we held our breath.  Anybody who has the slip of paper with the number on it can pick up the visa. At 3:20 our driver called to tell us she was held up in traffic and that she would not make it on time to pick up my husband. He called a taxi and within 15 minutes was on his way. Our driver arrived at the embassy first and told the guard my husband was on his way. Showing no mercy, the guard said that there would be no one let in after 4 pm sharp. Our driver worked her magic (he saw the desperation on her face) and let her in to hold Bob's spot. When Bob arrived at 4:05pm our driver peered out the window pointed to Bob and the guard took our number from Bob's hand and went inside to give it to our driver. They then show you a short information video about immigration in Spanish. As long as you have the slip of paper with the number anyone can pick up the visa.  After the video was over she walked out and handed over the gold! WE CAN GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!! Yes, I am shouting!

Random days in Honduras

Trying a new fruit, litchees. They actually were really good. The little one
spotted them in Wal-mart and told me he really likes them. you peel the
 outside and eat the "big grape".  It does have a seed so don't eat it.

9/28/11

10/1/11

10/5/11
We heard it could take months even a year for a letter to reach the states so we went to
the post office in downtown Tegucigalpa and mailed ourselves a post card. It arrived
at our home here in the U.S. after 10 days. Boy, we were disappointed! 

A Catholic church in downtown Tegucigalpa

10/2/11
The kids liked Chiminike so much that for almost
nothing at all for 3 kids and 2 adults we had to take them back.

A favorite afternoon stop for us.

10/4/11

9/26/11 Nova Centro Mall - They have a great deal on Mondays
after 2pm.For 2 hours of unlimited play I think we paid 17.00 for
3 kids. Its definitely something different than the rooftop.

Our 2nd time in almost a month.

view from the open air rooftop game center

This picture just about sums up my daughters personality.

Celebrating his birthday

We went to Pizza Hut for dinner to celebrate his 5th birthday. I don't think his birthdays were celebrated or if so not in a big way because when we asked him how old he was he would tell us 4 and hold up 4 fingers. We didn't have a way to tell him, "No,  you are 5" so we thought we would make a big deal of him and celebrate his birthday. It was fun shopping for a few gifts for him and watch his reaction to the staff and his family sing Happy Birthday to him. He tore the paper off the gifts and as soon as he opened one it was on to the next one. Happy 5th Birthday Justin! We promise the next one to be even better. We love you!

Much needed R&R (Oct 1 & 2nd)

View from our room

The powdered milk man (picture taken for the little one)

To be rejuvenated my husband suggested that we change hotels for the long holiday weekend. We definitely needed something or i don't know if I could have finished out the last week in Honduras. We stayed at the Intercontinental Hotel and let me tell you, the breakfast buffet was worth every penny - cold milk, good coffee, chocolate croissants, freshly made waffles, omelette station, etc. I am still thinking about it. In April, on our first trip, we toured the hotel and for a small apt it was double the price of our hotel and had no kitchen so that was an easy decision for us. The hotel entrance is across the street from a large mall where we went to see Mr. Poppers Penguins in Spanish. The kid movies are shown in Spanish and the adult movies are shown in English. The bellboy recommended that we get the movie tickets ahead of time since the weekends seem to be a lot busier. We arrived about 30 minutes before show time and we were one of the first ones in the theatre. When they give you your ticket they also assign you a seat. Well 20 minutes in everyone was playing musical chairs in the dark because 30 people or so decided to ignore their seat assignments so that proved to be more entertaining then the movie itself. The kids swam only a little while since the water was chilly, but we appreciated laying by the pool when the sun was out. One afternoon after lunch we sent the boys back to the hotel to nap, while my oldest and I strolled around the mall. She had been asking to walk around a mall since we first arrived in Teguc back on day 2. Her wish came true. We had fun just the two of us looking at whatever and not being rushed by the boys. Monday was Day of the Soldier and nobody was working, but I was anxious to get back "home" to start our last week in Honduras. So grateful though for this wonderful idea from my husband who knows me better than I think.